The first thing you need to know. . .

The first thing you need to know is that I make the rules, it’s my talk time, it’s my view and my stories, it’s my life and I make the rules…

Well, sort of, I mean there are government rules that I have to obey and religious rules I try to obey and then there’s the laws of Newton I am forced to obey, oh yes and my emotions and intellect which are constantly driving me off in different directions and I suppose there’s the inherent conditioning I have had from family, teachers, friends, TV, opinionated passers by, who have swayed my judgement and caused me to think or live differently and the things I have read of course… but….. apart from all that.. I am in charge and I make the rules…

It’s not easy being so free and totally independent of thought and will, I have to say. Sometimes I am right on the edge of oblivion, looking into the abyss of my mind and wondering if I will fall and never hit the bottom. Yep, I’m a wild, free spirit, untamed, reckless even, just making the rules up as I go along, hoping each decision will not be my last, praying that somehow I’ll just get through this crazy life in one piece, some days I wake up wondering if I’ll be doing the same thing tomorrow or will this be the last time I get to stagger out of bed and see the sun and hear the birds……

So, who am I, that I can write the rulebook of life? What audacity!!, What a pompous, self interested, conceited, son of a… hey.. hey.. wait just a minute, I’m not telling you how to live your life, I couldn’t care less, it’s hard enough trying to live my own life.

Realistically of course, I’m a boring soul, I don’t jump out of airplanes, don’t do one armed selfies at the top of skyscrapers, I don’t own a Ferarri or Ducati, don’t have any Bourne Incidences and I am definitely not a Walter Mitty, I guess I’m just a very average Joe.

I am a forty something man, married, no kids yet, I am a weaver (or textiles manufacturer) by trade, I write a column for a national newspaper and I am the artist manager for my wife, as of now I am also a blogger….  

Oh yes, I forgot, I am  Hash House Harrier, also called a Hasher, we run in the jungle following paper in what would be described as a “paper chase” type game, started in Malaysia in 1938 by the British and now a world wide running and beer drinking club,  I am an amatuer, very amateur, triathlete, I am an Ironman 70.3 finisher and will be driving myself into the ground in a few months at my first full distance Ironman, I was a diver for a short time and I help produce music from time to time. Those are not really who I am.. they are just what I do….

Who was I? Well, I was born in a small northern English town called Blackburn, the very same one in the Beatles song, to a Polish father and English mother and I lived there until I was in my twenties, whereuopn I met a young dragon and moved in with it in a small apartment in a nearby village by the name of Oswaldtwistle after which we bought a cottage and settled down to a life of torment for several years before I moved to Malaysia to start up a weaving operation as a joint venture between my English boss and a Malaysian manufacturing company. That was fourteen years ago and I am now married to a human, though I didn’t manage to slay the dragon, I am pretty sure it won’t bother me anymore.

What is this all going to be about? Well, I suppose you can read it and find out.. .. 

Rule 1…

Patience 

When all else seems to be breaking down, when there is no end in sight, when you are at the back of the queue at the discount sale… Patience, it’s free, odourless and fits in any wallet….

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