Rule 19 Carpe Diem

Of two things I am certain, if I am born I will die, therefore, without life death cannot exist.

This weekend, on Sunday, a close friend passed away, it was at a sporting event. My dear friend was an exceptional person. I have a close circle of people I deeply admire and whom I would regard as close, they are the exceptional people who enlighten me.

Ok, ok, I’m not going to start burning incense and chanting something incomprehensible, I just have some cool friends who are very different from other people, they force me to realise the banality of my personal levels of self acceptance, they force me to admit I am half the person I could be or should be.

So, I’m a loser and I need to improve? No, that’s not what I’m saying, I’m just commenting that I have the pleasure of knowing people who are excellent in some way, I believe I could be as excellent or even better, it would only depend on the lessons I learn from them, not only about myself but about them, that is to say, what is good, what is bad, what is perfect, what is flawed.

When news spread of my friends passing, people began to ask me how he died. Even people who had never met him but were in the social network and media loop asked me what happened, usually accompanied by some pretence toward sensitivity as a Trojan horse to penetrate my defenses.

“Oh God, so terrible, I just heard. What happened?”

“His poor wife, what the hell went on out there?”

“I just heard, I can’t believe it, may he rest in peace..(emoticons ).. I heard he was alive when they found him, did he die on the kayak?.”

Well ok, what’s the problem with that? I mean they are legitimate questions right? Everyone has a right to know what happened. It’s only respectful to him that the truth be known. It’s something that needs to be said. Who’s responsible? What happened? Why did this happen? How could it be allowed happen? Are there photographs? I think we should share them and get to the bottom of this.

Such pigs and buffoons, self-righteous and ignominious, garrulous, petulant and without the simple, human endearment to strive to ask a simple human question.

How did he live?

So transfixed are we in the affliction of death that we do not see the magnitude of life, the vast complexity of the fibres of each human history, intertwined to create a fantastic “yarn”.

But still, the tittle-tattle requirement of those not even basically acquainted with the deceased, reminds me of the mentally ill surfers of the internet, seeking out videos of deaths, torture, murders, wars, diseases and suffering, seeking a thrill from the observance of death and suffering.

Death is a finality, it is a predefined guaranteed event, it is the only thing we can know will definitely happen.

Life however is not predefined, it has millions upon millions of variations, it is a living evolving story, it turns this corner and that happens.. it opens that door and this happens and those things lead to other things and so on and so forth.

What is the point if we are going to die? Why even bother? Death is going to come and we are going to become a stereotype of life. We must succumb, there is no option, death comes and we are subject to it.

We are often fixated with death, yet it takes only a short time to die, compared to our life. My friend was fine at least 2 hours before I found out he had passed away when we had chatted and wished good luck to each other. So, how about the prior 49 years?

Death is an inevitability, we cannot shade or hide from it, we cannot avoid, cheat or lie to it, it will become us one day, yet life gives us the endurance and enjoyance of years and years of its company.

In talking of life and death, I would direct you to think about a totally different subject, death and life….

Death. We are born to die, our bearers are born to die, our offspring are born to die. We can’t predict if they will be a painter, a drug dealer, a world leader or a mediocre porn actor, a serial killer or a car salesman, but we know they will die. God, that word, that name, that symbol of all things of the afterlife and the world herein, created us apparently to die and return to him (he is apparently a he).

A man stands in a field of heather and short grass, his dog at his side and he throws a stick high and long as the dog looks heaven bound to follow it. “Fetch” the man calls to his dog and she rises in a split second, sprints to the stick and gripping it in it’s salivating mouth, returns it to the man. The man repeats this several times, the dog tires and the man throws the stick again. The dog looks at the man and says “if you wanted the stick so badly, why do you keep throwing it away?”

If God wanted us so badly, why does he create souls, give them bodies, let them suffer and then judge them worthy to enter heaven. It doesn’t seem to make sense, but then I’m not an omnipotent deity. That’s not a knock at religion, they all have their flaws and their perfections, they have their submissions, faints and powers.

Death is more important than birth to so many, it’s where we are headed, and we focus our lives attempting to achieve the “rights of passage” to ensure our death is the door to heaven.

What if .. “just” ..ok.. you weren’t going anywhere.. just here.. just now.. would you become more focused on hedonism and the “here and now”.. I have had  as a younger man, a tendency to live my life and to enjoy wine, women, song, people, conversation, food, nature and the excesses of driving my mortal shell to another place. I am being what I call being selfish. I am driven by the idea that there is no “after this” so I live, I live as best as I can whilst not allowing my hedonism to cloud or corrupt my thoughts or hurt others. This seems like a moral code. We focus on death, such a small time in our life but miss the point of life , which is to live.. to really live. Did you ever do it? Did you live? Do you know how to?

We talk and the glory of the 300 or Alexander or the great Temujin brings courage to our hearts but we are all flesh, blood and bones.. even them…

I would say, take the Couer De Lion, be a spirit beyond yourself.

Dont just talk..






Rule 18 Things (must) happen for a reason

Two people meet in a bar and get married a few years later, an old man who was a nasty old bugger, dies in his home alone, you split with your girlfriend or boyfriend, you find a puppy in the park and in observing these occurrences, someone in a stroke of philosophical genius recants the phrase “things happen for a reason” and with that patronising, reassuring smile, they rest content that they have solved another of life’s mysteries and from this point on your amazing karmic life will be full of exciting mystical happenings attributed to “things happen for a reason” theory.

Water in a kettle changes temperature for the simple reason that you apply heat energy to it, whether through radiation, convection or conduction or similarly if you put it in a position of lower heat energy, it will become cooler. That is something happening for a reason. There is an occurrence and a direct observable cause. Water does not get hot because of an inherent karmic predestination to do so. Hit that switch on the wall.. go on.. do it.. !! That light bulb is going to switch on.. no not that one…. ah yes.. that one!!

Einstein wanted to devise a theory to explain why things happens, in fact why everything happens, Newton did pretty well with that sort of thing too, they had theories that proved things. I can tell you if I was to remove my thumbnail with a pair of pliers that it would bloody well hurt… cause and effect.. understood and painfully clear.

So let’s have a look at that lovely puppy that you found in the park. There is a fire at your home, you are asleep and smoke overcomes you, the puppy, now a full-grown chihuahua drags you to safety, passing out of course on the lawn of your suburban home and the world is notified via a viral post that a rescued animal saves its saviour… “things happen for a reason”, a force, maybe “the force” put that helpless puppy in the park, so that in the future it could save you.

Yup, that does it for me, I’m sold.

Well, I’m not really, I don’t believe in ghosts, ghoolies, vampires, Presbyterians, politicians or the goose that laid the golden egg. I am not sure about Santa though.. he seems pretty real.. I’ve seen him on TV.

So, my joviality aside, I will say that I am excited by interesting coincidences and believe they are opportunities not to be wasted. You happen to bang your car into the most beautiful girl you have ever seen and she isn’t angry and you chat and hit it off.. well, it’s maybe a way of meeting people, if you want to look at the statistics of the chances of it happening, it might seem slim or impossible, but then again, look at the possibilities and the number of accidents and you can actually see that it’s possible and definitely not improbable. There is something romantic or irrational or “lucky” about beneficial or even life changing situations that seem to occur through random events. They seem so well-timed as if there is divine intervention, “if he hadn’t got that call, he would have been in the hotel when the bomb went off”, “she was late for her bus and walked to the next street to another stop, there she met her future husband, who lived 3 miles away and had used the bus stop only on that morning, because his friend’s car had broken down round the corner”.

“Things happen for a reason”. I think babies happen because of sex. I think it rains because evaporation forms clouds and when they become very dense the moisture forms droplets of water that fall to earth. I think if you drink enough water, you will go pee. I think if I leave my onions in the frying pan, on full heat, they will go black and burn and stink out the house. those things happen for a reason.

I am not trying to kill the romantic dream of the bus stop couple. I fact I myself have been subject to random acts recently that are so well-timed they smell like divine intervention. If something didn’t happen randomly, then I wouldn’t have been in contact with Miss Teree and if it didn’t happen when it did, we would never have known of each others existence.

There are 7.4 billion hearts beating on the face of this planet, take a scenario, throw it in the air and see where it lands. There will be people far “smarter” than I who can give you formulae that predict the likelihood of you meeting Beyoncé at a diner, or of becoming president or of dying in a freak bar mitzvah gas explosion, caused by a part-time performing clown named Jacques, who is a transgender dentist from Kazakhstan…

We love to feel that life is somehow divinely guided, whether it be by the stars, numerology, fate, Kismet or karma, god or one of the many current gods, it gives some meaning to our lives right? Actually, I feel if my life is guided by some stars or a god, then it’s not my life, my life is a play toy  held in the cyclic whimsical hand of “fate” and good or bad, I am not an individual, I am a puppet at the control of a “higher purpose” amongst all the other puppets, a heavenly hand shoved up my fabric behind, playing Punch to fates Judy.

The phrase “things happen for a reason” does not predispose us to know the outcome of an action, rather we attribute an outcome from a random action and attribute this to a non recurrent, random situation.  If every puppy rescued from the park, saved someone, I might agree, that “things happen for  a reason”in the mystical context it is usually applied.  If every couple randomly met at bus stops then I might assume that “things happen for a reason” probably that bus stops are good meeting places….

Sorry to be a cynic in the great course of the exciting mysticism of life, but it seems like a fairy story, but of course if you read this and realise the ridiculous nature of the idea… or you think I’m wrong and strongly feel the opposite, then remember…

“Things happen for a reason”.




I had thought I had created “something new”. Sadly the internet takes less than a second to educate me with 141,000 results that prove otherwise, but as there is no rule book of life apparently, I can make up my own meaning, so there!!

I am currently writing several books, some true stories and some works of fiction. In one work of fiction, the main character, stands on the outer walkway at the top of the lighthouse he takes care of and he stares out at the sea. He wonders if anyone is afflicted like he is and if so, what do they feel like, how do they deal with it? (I will say no more as I don’t want to ruin the plot). As a seagull enters his field of vision, he suddenly decides to try an experiment and steps two feet to the left. then he looks straight out at the sea again. He notices that he cannot see exactly the same things that he had previously unless he turns his head slightly to the right.

Then he tries to imagine two men side by side,  staring directly forwards at a wall with a painting on it, just about 10 feet away and realises that they cannot possibly see the same thing and even more stirring, the fact that they may both have different perceptions of the same image.

If he stands very far away he can see everything but with little detail, if he stands closely he can see details but not the whole picture. even if two people stare at exactly the same thing with exactly the same field of vision, they will be looking from different perspectives or angles, therefore as no two people can or do occupy the same space and physical being in time, they cannot see the same things, therefore they can only have a perspective of another persons view. Further to this, their personal interpretation will be the next point of processing, then their ability to relate back their observations and perceptions will be the next stage, followed by the perception of the listener, their processing and finally the image they will mentally project of that original image.

I see — I process — I explain — you hear — you process — you recreate the image.

That’s a lot to go wrong. Not surprising we find it easy to group people together and label them, otherwise we would live in a world of 7.4 billion individuals, with as many perspectives and that would be chaos…. right?

If you have seen Monty Pythons’ “The life of Brian”, you might remember when Brian explains to the crowd that they are all individuals and one chap calls out “I’m not” the crowd remaining quiet as if in agreement. We are all different, we all occupy a different point in space and therefore time and therefore we are subject to my perspective of perspectivism

I can never truly understand you, nor you I unless you can be me or I you. This is unfortunate as most people need a social identity, a tribal tag, a religious belonging, a sexual classification, a wealth perspective, an educational “level”, a wife and two kids and a dog with a “unique” name, that “means something”, it’s a way of forging an identity along with the mass, even though we think we are individuals, we are part of mankinds corporate identities, to be truly individual would be a very lonely place.

Inside our consciousness, we are individual, unless someone can see, hear, feel, smell and taste precisely what you are doing right now, now that would really be some trick wouldn’t it.

A new rule for the rulebook based upon my theory of perspectivism would be as follows…

Stop “trying” to be individual, you already are. No one can live your life, only you. You are every second of every day on a completely individual journey.




rule 23.a. subsection 5 Cogito Ergo Sum

The following depiction is completely fictional and the characters therein are also completely fictional. Any resemblance to characters living or deceased is purely coincidental.

We live in a world of fast information, cliches, answers that are fed to us on plate and doctrines and traditions handed down to us since we were created from the dust of the earth, this is an inevitable juxtapose unforeseen to our predecessors. We have access to videos of moon landings and video game walk throughs, recipes for almost every dish on earth and self help videos on how to get the perfect eye shadow for that party you are going to attend on Friday at the “Golden Dragon” Chinese restaurant on that country road heading out of town.

In the beginning, man was made from the earth, and our partner was fashioned from a rib taken from that first man Adam. She was Eve. Ever since that day that God that scooped up the earth, we have been in a state of holy deadlock.. oh I mean wedlock., but we have also been in an existentialist battle to understand ourselves, why we are here and who put all this together. why are we born and more importantly, why do we die?

Yes, that’s right.. I think it’s more important to wonder why we die? What is the necessity, if god created us, for us to die? I am about to be macho and tell you, I am not afraid to die, I understand it is coming, I know, just like my next meal, I must have it, I must engage in it. I do not want to die slowly and painfully or in utter terror, however, I know I will and I am of the mind that when I do, it will be the end of me. I will not go to a place where my relatives are waiting, their souls gathered in paradise, instead I will cease to function, in the same way a laptop does when its hard drive eventually gives up.

Do I value myself so little? Goodness, no, I love being alive, in fact I might say that because I do not live in the comfort of an afterlife, I live more than those who think there is something else coming after death. In fact I wonder, as we have a perception of heaven with our family, when your soul reaches heaven, how old would your presence be? i mean, say I remember my grandparents in their heyday as grandparents , during their 50s, would they be that person when I reach even or would for example my grandmother be the old, sick , dementia ridden shell that she was when I last saw her. if little Sarah dies at 5, is her soul commended to heaven to be perpetuated at that age?

This is just a jovial poke at the idea of our perceptions of heaven and what religion leaves unanswered. I looked at Adam and God, on that painted ceiling by Michelangelo and the things that struck me quite immediately were that Adams hand resembled that of an alpha ape, such as a chimpanzee, offering his hand for a lower ape to give submission, this would be totally wrong in the context of our understanding, yet, if you pay attention to the cloud or shell in which God is floating, you see that it resembles the shape of a human skull or moreover, human brain. This made me very curious, why is Adam accepting God, and why is he contained in the shell of a human head or brain? Also if you don’t mind to humour me, why is God a he? God could be as in the Buddhist style, very androgynous.

Did Michelangelo intend this suggestion or is it just my imagination recreating the tooth fairy and the sandman all over again? If I can imagine the link between the paining and the relationship of Adam and God, is it not equally plausible that others might elaborate thoughts on similar ideas and eventually we are “religious”.

It will be obvious by now that I am an atheist I suppose. I am not here to mock religion, I am not given over to the supposition that I am smarter than religious people, in fact, my mind is open to proof, but I will need more proof than merely the threat of God punishing me for non belief, that is for cows and sheep in the field and perhaps they have a god too.

So I go to a wonder latin phrase “Cogito ergo sum”  which is over cooked, super cliched and probably used by every quasi philosopher that roamed the middle earth, yet, this simple line, this totalitarian sentence, describes consciousness in its very essence.

I think… therefore I am.. it actually means (dare I interpret?) that, if we were to break down the existence we have, we could prove by the thoughts we have that we are conscious and aware of ourselves, we cannot prove the physical, our mind could make it all up… but hark, what light through yonder window breaks, it is my brain in a jar, using its matter to think. The problem in this line of deduction is actually non existent unless you wish to move away from the pure mental aspect. if we isolate our minds and say, Ok, I’m a being made entirely of thought, completely alone, then what of the universe, what of everything I see and interact with? Is It all made up? If it is all made up  by me, and everything is illusion, then am I not God, or rather was Descartes not God?.. in his own reality…

So, is Michelangelo, portraying consciousness in his beautiful painting? It seems to me that he painted a brain and he says that God comes to Adam from that brain and the hand signals are resemblant of apes master and submissive behaviour, yet it would then mean that Adam is master, offering his turned down fingers and God is the submissive, as if reaching out to become part of man.

Ok so you have guessed it, this is not about painting ceilings, I have a few at home and they will be difficult for me even in one colour, this is about consciousness, Descartes’ over used philosophical literary summary,  which cliches a person who studied the stars,  the world, mathematics and physics and  whom was the modern pivotal voice of philosophy.

Do we think? Do we accept doctrines passed to us because if we don’t, we go to hell, or our community shuts us out or we are punished by mans laws derived from the same ideals?  Or do we independently think and feel and derive our own conclusion, free from the sticky grease of peer pressure in whatever form it adopts.

We love to think we are individuals, but I think we are not. We love thinking that we have a God, but I doubt if you will have chosen the right one of about 50.. and when you die, you will have felt the pressure all your life of assuring yourself that you followed the “only” god and that you will have your place in heaven.

How can so many religions be right? Then, how can so many people simply believe what they are told, like sheep? In fact In Christianity, they have a flock and a shepherd.. in other religions they use fear and oppression to maintain their followers, but at the end of it all, its just another religion claiming ownership, power, right to punish, piety, love and warmth.

God is not touching Adam, Adam I think is touching God. Without mans consciousness God would not exist, .. ask a cat if it’s sunni, shea, catholic, protestant,  zen or whatever .. It will lick its butt and carry on with it’s day..