Of two things I am certain, if I am born I will die, therefore, without life death cannot exist.
This weekend, on Sunday, a close friend passed away, it was at a sporting event. My dear friend was an exceptional person. I have a close circle of people I deeply admire and whom I would regard as close, they are the exceptional people who enlighten me.
Ok, ok, I’m not going to start burning incense and chanting something incomprehensible, I just have some cool friends who are very different from other people, they force me to realise the banality of my personal levels of self acceptance, they force me to admit I am half the person I could be or should be.
So, I’m a loser and I need to improve? No, that’s not what I’m saying, I’m just commenting that I have the pleasure of knowing people who are excellent in some way, I believe I could be as excellent or even better, it would only depend on the lessons I learn from them, not only about myself but about them, that is to say, what is good, what is bad, what is perfect, what is flawed.
When news spread of my friends passing, people began to ask me how he died. Even people who had never met him but were in the social network and media loop asked me what happened, usually accompanied by some pretence toward sensitivity as a Trojan horse to penetrate my defenses.
“Oh God, so terrible, I just heard. What happened?”
“His poor wife, what the hell went on out there?”
“I just heard, I can’t believe it, may he rest in peace..(emoticons ).. I heard he was alive when they found him, did he die on the kayak?.”
Well ok, what’s the problem with that? I mean they are legitimate questions right? Everyone has a right to know what happened. It’s only respectful to him that the truth be known. It’s something that needs to be said. Who’s responsible? What happened? Why did this happen? How could it be allowed happen? Are there photographs? I think we should share them and get to the bottom of this.
Such pigs and buffoons, self-righteous and ignominious, garrulous, petulant and without the simple, human endearment to strive to ask a simple human question.
How did he live?
So transfixed are we in the affliction of death that we do not see the magnitude of life, the vast complexity of the fibres of each human history, intertwined to create a fantastic “yarn”.
But still, the tittle-tattle requirement of those not even basically acquainted with the deceased, reminds me of the mentally ill surfers of the internet, seeking out videos of deaths, torture, murders, wars, diseases and suffering, seeking a thrill from the observance of death and suffering.
Death is a finality, it is a predefined guaranteed event, it is the only thing we can know will definitely happen.
Life however is not predefined, it has millions upon millions of variations, it is a living evolving story, it turns this corner and that happens.. it opens that door and this happens and those things lead to other things and so on and so forth.
What is the point if we are going to die? Why even bother? Death is going to come and we are going to become a stereotype of life. We must succumb, there is no option, death comes and we are subject to it.
We are often fixated with death, yet it takes only a short time to die, compared to our life. My friend was fine at least 2 hours before I found out he had passed away when we had chatted and wished good luck to each other. So, how about the prior 49 years?
Death is an inevitability, we cannot shade or hide from it, we cannot avoid, cheat or lie to it, it will become us one day, yet life gives us the endurance and enjoyance of years and years of its company.
In talking of life and death, I would direct you to think about a totally different subject, death and life….
Death. We are born to die, our bearers are born to die, our offspring are born to die. We can’t predict if they will be a painter, a drug dealer, a world leader or a mediocre porn actor, a serial killer or a car salesman, but we know they will die. God, that word, that name, that symbol of all things of the afterlife and the world herein, created us apparently to die and return to him (he is apparently a he).
A man stands in a field of heather and short grass, his dog at his side and he throws a stick high and long as the dog looks heaven bound to follow it. “Fetch” the man calls to his dog and she rises in a split second, sprints to the stick and gripping it in it’s salivating mouth, returns it to the man. The man repeats this several times, the dog tires and the man throws the stick again. The dog looks at the man and says “if you wanted the stick so badly, why do you keep throwing it away?”
If God wanted us so badly, why does he create souls, give them bodies, let them suffer and then judge them worthy to enter heaven. It doesn’t seem to make sense, but then I’m not an omnipotent deity. That’s not a knock at religion, they all have their flaws and their perfections, they have their submissions, faints and powers.
Death is more important than birth to so many, it’s where we are headed, and we focus our lives attempting to achieve the “rights of passage” to ensure our death is the door to heaven.
What if .. “just” ..ok.. you weren’t going anywhere.. just here.. just now.. would you become more focused on hedonism and the “here and now”.. I have had as a younger man, a tendency to live my life and to enjoy wine, women, song, people, conversation, food, nature and the excesses of driving my mortal shell to another place. I am being what I call being selfish. I am driven by the idea that there is no “after this” so I live, I live as best as I can whilst not allowing my hedonism to cloud or corrupt my thoughts or hurt others. This seems like a moral code. We focus on death, such a small time in our life but miss the point of life , which is to live.. to really live. Did you ever do it? Did you live? Do you know how to?
We talk and the glory of the 300 or Alexander or the great Temujin brings courage to our hearts but we are all flesh, blood and bones.. even them…
I would say, take the Couer De Lion, be a spirit beyond yourself.
Dont just talk..